Transferred....(brokened)

So.... an update....

I got my transfer... found out I will be going back to Kuching... to A/E to be exact. I won’ t lie... I was happy but a different kind of happiness. Not the YES!!!!... its kind of a melodic type. Why?... personally, this transfer is not a victorious one but a failure. Its a hallmark of failure in my life.

So forgive me for not jumping head over heels. Now every time want i think how did i come back?... it always come back to this... my stumbling block. While i guess i have to life through it and overcome it. The pass can’t be changed and the future holds a up hill battle. BIG SIGH....

So, what have I got out of this place called Kanowit. I try to sum it up its difficult. Lets see...
Pros
• Work wise i get to learn more of ward and clinic management
• I got to counsel patients
• OT cases
• Learn to make decisions (troubleshoot)
• The cost of living here is relatively lower
• I get to save petrol (i don’t travel much... the town so small)
• People are nice and friendly
• Work load is not as heavy
Cons
• There is only 3 MOs. Oncall almost 20 days a month. (10 active and 10 passive)
• Most of the oncalls are EOD (every other day) or ED (every day)
• I seldom have weekends off (oncall)
• I had a burnout episode from the frequent calls
• I got really bad with doctor patient relationship due to exhaustion
• Began to hate to see patients. Began to hate them and treat them like objects.
• Became more defensive
• Have a very calculative college (not helpful at all)
• I earn much less
• To have better food or the occasionall McD, I have to travel 60 km.
• For grocery I also have to travel 60 km
• Entertainment... close to non
• Don’t know what illness I picked up when I am here.
As one can see the cons list is far more longer that the pros. I guess in a nut shell I should be glad to leave this place. Wonder how would life be back in the city...

will keep this blog posted...

chicken run

Hello there, long time no write, well that’s because nothing happen, well nothing interesting happened so far. Until last weekend. I managed to experience cock fighting. Actually this was not my first time visiting the cock fighting arena. But this time I wanted to get some good pictures just for the heck of it. I was itching to click the shutter button every time I saw a fight. My canon 500D was calling my name, please press the shutter button, pretty please.

It all started the week before, my college brought me to one of the biggest cock fighting arena in my district. He was also a contender of cause, I mean his chicken. So with my camera and him and his two cocks, we entered the area. Its a secluded area under a huge tent where about 50-100 people there with their feathered companions, each hoping to win the fights and bring home some cash. As i entered the place, people were alarmed, staring at me. What is this white Chinese guy doing in this place. And what was even more distressful was the camera I was holding. Oh my, people were frightened, scared of the my “big” camera. (for your information, cock fighting here is an illegal activity but it has been around for years and years, since my grandfather’s time. But its a favourite pass time for the people here to just entertain themselves. They actually spent hundreds to thousands of dollar to feed, train and care for their precious 2 legged friend.)

So, as evil eyes stare at me, piercing into my soul, I got the message crystal clear. The boss there then approached me and warned me not to take any pictures (in a polite way of cause). With 100 to 1 I comply, packed my camera and watched as chicken fight to their dead, entertaining us. In my heart, I figured what a waste of precious camera time, well, better to be safe than sorry. After about 2 hours I took off, disappointed but determine I will get the pictures eventually.

Little did I know, after I left the place, the big boss arrived and asked for me. He wanted to see me but I was not there. He passed a message through my college that it was OK to the pictures as long as there was no faces involve. I felt “damn!!” I should had stayed a little longer.

Well, I manage to get the following week off and made plans with my college to go to another place where people knows me and they would allow photographs to be taken. I was psych. At last, I can get the pictures. A week of anticipation grew and grew. I also invited a friend of my to tag along, (she wanted to come). So on that faithful day, I got an unfortunate sms, “sorry can’t make it. Got family stuff to do” Errrrrrrrrr.... another chance wasted. ( I don’t know the place and to enter sure place, its better to be brought in by a person known by the people. Not a good idea to go there by yourself). My friend as also disappointed. Feeling disheartened and defected we planned to take a road trip just for the heck of it. While taking the drive to nowhere, we decided to drop by the place I when last week to ask if there were any fights going on. There, I manage to meet with the boss and this time he was much friendlier. We talked and he allowed me to take photos as long as no faces. I was head over heels. YES....

So we entered the arena. Same faces, same eyes. I went to the boss, he when announced to the people that I will be taking photos but only the chicken not the faces. People were sceptical at first my after a while, they got use to my presences and I managed to “bland” in with my tattoos and speaking in their local language. They got comfortable with me. I was then free to take as many pictures as I desired. I was in heaven. I try not to miss any million dollar moments. I was trigger happy. Click, click, click, click, click.

Hmmm.. side tracking abit. Some say cock fighting is cruel, bad, inhumane. Well, I don’t disagree with them on that. Its a cruel activity and no doubt about it , its illegal. I will not defend the activity but I have to agree, its very exciting. To see them fight, its an art. Even to train and to fix the blade is an art. I try to imagine if I were the cock in the arena. Its like Russell Crow in the Gladiator, thrown in the ring fighting for their lifes. To comfort myself, I would say, chickens die, people eat chickens everyday. Does it matter how they die????.... I am on the fence on this...

Anyway, I would like to extend my appreciation to the boss, the big boss, the people in the arena that day, my college and friend (partner in crime) and of cause my canon 500D... :P

More pictures visit my facebook : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=607635825

little steps

So, what have I learned so far. I learned that I have to relax more and not let work take over my life or my temperament. I learned to do what I can and let God do the rest. I am still learning to take things one at a time. Its like a baby learning how to walk.

I also learned that I God is there and always there, its just that I had grown apart. I must learn not to be angry with God, not to blame others, its just the way it is. I need to trust Him more.

So, its all easier said than done.

Little steps

from humble beginnings

Once a long long time ago, in the southern province of China, poverty struck the people of China. The land did not bear fruit and harvest was minimum. All they had was their livestock and the cows and pigs were also dying. So in order to make the best of it, the people decided to slaughter their cows and pigs. Then winter came. Everybody was cool and shivering. Hence they would boil the meat of pigs to make a stew. For taste they would just season with salt and pepper. Somehow, the Chinese knows how to enjoy themselves. Later, they started adding herbs and Chinese medicine and the taste of the stew begin to evolve. Little did they know, through all this hardship they actually started a food revolution. As any good practical practise, this style of cooking was handed down from generations to generations until now.

Introducing BAK KUT TEH

If you ask anyone about Klang, chances are one word, “bak kut teh”. In Klang, bak kut teh is not just a meal, a dish or some poke stew, its is a religion, a way of life. I can still remember my grandfather, every morning without fail, he would dress up and hop on his Honda cup and ride to his favourite coffee shop and order a bowl of bak kut teh before doing anything else. Yes, breakfast is important but having bak kut teh as breakfast is even more important.

For the past 10 years, the bak kut teh phenomenon as blown up. Now, there are 10s if not 100s of bak kut teh stalls in Klang. Why not 1000s? Because not all bak kut teh stalls succeed. In bak kut teh, there are 2 fundamental elements, the pork and the soup. If your pork is tender and moist but your soup is not up to par or the other way around, people would not come. But on the other hand, there are different types of soup in bak kut teh, there are soup that are strong with pork smell, there are soup that are strong in herbal elements and there are blunt soup and etc etc. Because the people of Klang have develop particular affinity towards different types of soup, so only certain ones would do well. I have seen people adding seafood in bak kut teh, it did not do well.

In regards to the pork, there are many parts in a pig that can be eaten and made delightful. There is the ribs, lean meat, fatty meat, the intestines and etc. Basically it depends on people’s preference. Some even love the stomach, intestines and what more pig’s blood. But all need to be boiled well to perfection. Personally, I am a lean meat person, either big bone or small bone, as long its meat and not fat, its fine.

Due to its popular demand, cost of a meat for a person can reach to about RM 10. The irony is that it started out as a poor man’s dish. But in this time and place, I guess if the more people long for it, the higher the price will be. Simple common sense. 10 years also, a meal would cost about RM4, now about RM 10. But people still go, people still eat, people still pay. This is how dedicated Klang is towards this humble dish.

So, as a Klangite, I love bak kut teh. I am glad that people are still going all out to continue the tradition. The way I see it, it would last the test of time. It’s so strong that families, business partners fight over recipes. Some even break from the current stall to set up another one right next to the previous one. Its amazing how one dish has changed people’s life.

Hmm... can’t to think of it, I am hungry now... until next time...

toys toys

Isn’t nice to be back home in your one bed, waking up nothing to really do or care. I am now currently doing that and will be doing that only for another 2-3 nights. (i am on a short break). Holidays are always great no matter how short or hoe redundantly short they are. But I’ll take it. There is much to do this trip back home. I have bought a dell mini 10 that is waiting for me at home. Its a white one. I have always wanted to get a mini for mobility sake. And after months of research and asking around... I decided to get one. Its a dell....  why... mostly for the support system that dell provide. Its one of the best if, like me, working in God knows where.

About my dell, before i bought it i knew the limitations. Its for basic function computer needs, office work, internet surfing, some music, some shows only. Its not a proper system as a laptop or a desktop. So far is ok. I just got to get use to windows 7 cause i only been using windows xp for the past 8 years. However there is one hiccup. The system operating it is windows 7 starter. Its the basic system maybe suitable for a small computer. But there limitation, i just found up. Because it is a basic system, most of the features such as personalization are removed to created space for performance. Thus its quite a boring outlook. Fortunately, there are ways to go around it. Huccips such as unable to change your desktop picture or change your theme. I am not a theme person but i am a desktop person. My desktop must be interesting. I manage to find a program to overcome this problem. Currently my desktop is super cool !!!. Next is to get a cool laptop bag to go with it.

This takes me to my next money bleeder. I bought a 4k camera. Hahaha... I don’t know I always liked photography but didn’t got into it. Financially not compatible. But now, I decided, life is short and I only live once..... so, splurge. I got a canon 500d with lens 18-200. Its within my budget. Its a camera for beginners. Huh, beginners,? Imagine how much the professionals pay. That’s why good photographer are paid so much during special occasions. Plus, its something to distract me went I go back to the “hell hole”. I don’t want to go down the spiralling stair again. So in my future posting hopefully there will be drop dead gorgeous pictures. Hahaha....

Till then....

options

So, after day and nights of pondering, I decided to fill in my transfer. I decided to still stick in clinicals no matter how horrible it is. But I also decided that I don’t want to do calls for the moment. I also found I would not mind to be exposed to the administration side. Hence this is my transfer application.

1. Polyclinic Bandar kuching
2. JKNS
3. Jabatan Kecemasan HUS

Hmmm… fingers and toes crossed.

tribute

I have been a reader in the citizen’s blog (CB) of the star online for quite sometime. Most of the time I love to see the bloggers bash each other and with their childish comments. Some have very strong opinions and some have lovely poems and life experience to share.

Today I was browsing through the blog reading the entries when I came across an entry. It was by a daughter of a blogger I use to read. His last entry to the blog was on 23/5/10. That entry was special, that entry was personal. I still remember I was in the airport reading the entry and tears started falling down. It was a blog entry of peace and farewells. Basically he was apologizing to his fellow peers of the wrongs he did on the net and all the tails he stepped on. He was straightening everything and saying his peace. As I read the entry, I learned that he had cancer and was scheduled for surgery. He was worried that he wouldn’t make it through the operation hence the blog entry. That was the last I heard (read) of him.

Today it was an entry from his daughter. Introducing herself to her father’s peers. As far as I know, the surgery when well. The entry was a sad one. Her father passed on. It was a shocker. Then I begin to search her father’s pass entry. Very very very interesting. He was a man of moderate standards. He really when through a eventful life. Life wasn’t a bed of roses or served on a silver platter for him. He had been through so many ordeals. Yet he turned out okay. (love the one that he taught how to cook prawn mee)

Reading his entry, his life experience, I can't help reflecting on mine. One thing what struck me was he was a traveled man and well learned person given his background. His was a person who was able to survive in many any situation. He was a cook, hawker vendor, an electrician, sound technician, guide, scuba training, boat shop owner and so on. He faced financial turmoil, family issues, so many stuff. Yet he lived. Yet he lived. Amazing!

I am not going to say much. Just that. I don’t really know him but I know he lived, that’s what ‘s important. Most of us don’t. You shall be missed “sjzhuang”

(if you wanna read bout his entry – check out http://blog.thestar.com.my/search.asp?page=1&search=sjzhuang&type=blogger)