Transferred....(brokened)

So.... an update....

I got my transfer... found out I will be going back to Kuching... to A/E to be exact. I won’ t lie... I was happy but a different kind of happiness. Not the YES!!!!... its kind of a melodic type. Why?... personally, this transfer is not a victorious one but a failure. Its a hallmark of failure in my life.

So forgive me for not jumping head over heels. Now every time want i think how did i come back?... it always come back to this... my stumbling block. While i guess i have to life through it and overcome it. The pass can’t be changed and the future holds a up hill battle. BIG SIGH....

So, what have I got out of this place called Kanowit. I try to sum it up its difficult. Lets see...
Pros
• Work wise i get to learn more of ward and clinic management
• I got to counsel patients
• OT cases
• Learn to make decisions (troubleshoot)
• The cost of living here is relatively lower
• I get to save petrol (i don’t travel much... the town so small)
• People are nice and friendly
• Work load is not as heavy
Cons
• There is only 3 MOs. Oncall almost 20 days a month. (10 active and 10 passive)
• Most of the oncalls are EOD (every other day) or ED (every day)
• I seldom have weekends off (oncall)
• I had a burnout episode from the frequent calls
• I got really bad with doctor patient relationship due to exhaustion
• Began to hate to see patients. Began to hate them and treat them like objects.
• Became more defensive
• Have a very calculative college (not helpful at all)
• I earn much less
• To have better food or the occasionall McD, I have to travel 60 km.
• For grocery I also have to travel 60 km
• Entertainment... close to non
• Don’t know what illness I picked up when I am here.
As one can see the cons list is far more longer that the pros. I guess in a nut shell I should be glad to leave this place. Wonder how would life be back in the city...

will keep this blog posted...